打招呼的礼仪

Firstimpressionslastthelongest.Inthisweek’sarticle,wewillexploregreetingrituals（仪式）andhowyoucanmakeyourfirstimpressionagoodone.Therearemerelyfourthingstodoinordertocompletethegreetingritualsuccessfully:smile,makeeyecontact,shakehandsfirmlyandutter（说）anappropriategreeting.

Smilingistheuniversalsignforgoodwill,anditreducessocialtension.IwenttoajobinterviewwhenIwasabout18,andIwassonervousthatIcouldhardlykeepmyselffromshaking.Afteraneternityoffiveminutes,thereceptionistsaidthemanagerwouldmeetme.Imovedslowlytowardthemanager’sofficedoorandopeneditrespectfully.There,standingbehindhisdeskwithhishandoutstretchedingreeting,wasaportlymanofabout50,andhewasgrinning（露齿而笑）fromeartoear."Comeinandhaveaseat,David,"hesaid.HeshookmyhandandtoldmethathewashappyIhadcome.Itwasn’tlongbeforemyanxietymeltedawayintheglowofhisbrightsmileandwarmgestures.WhenIleftthatmeetingwithmynewjob,Icouldn’trememberwhyIhadbeensoafraidinthefirstplace.Awarmsmilemadeallthedifference.

Insomecultures,eyecontactisasignofaggressionespeciallywhenitismadebetweeninferiors（下级）andsuperiors（上级）,butinmostwesterncountriesitisasignofhonestyandgoodwill.Eyecontactsimplymeanstolookatsomeonedirectlyintotheireye..Althoughstaringlongintosomeoneelse’seyescanbeconsideredinappropriateifthatpersonisnotalovedone,makingpropereyecontactduringthegreetingritualisabsolutelynecessary.Inwesterncountries,apersonwhocannotorwillnotmakeeyecontactisperceived（理解）tobedishonest.Remember,duringthegreetingritual,youmustmakeeyecontact.

Thehandshakeis,perhaps,themostmemorablepartofthegreetingritualbecauseweactuallymakephysicalcontactforthefirsttime.Whenshakinghands,onemustrememberthatthehandshakemustbefirm.Thatis,youmustsqueezetheotherperson’shandtightly-notenoughtocausediscomfort,butitmustfirmenoughtoregisterastight.Asoft,wilted（衰弱的）handshakeisconsideredoffensive,andsuchahandshakeistheeasiestwaytomakeaterriblefirstimpression.Asyoushakehands,youshouldleanintoitslightly.Thatisleantowardthepersonwithwhomyouareshakinghandsinsortofatinybow（鞠躬）.Agood,firmhandshakeisastrongfoundationuponwhichalifelongfriendshipcanbebuilt.Remember,keepitfirm!

Asonesmilesatanewacquaintance,lookingintohisorhereyes,shakinghandsfirmly,itisthenexpectedthatonewillsaysomewordsofgreeting.Thisphaseistheeasiestpartofthegreetingritualbecauseourgreetingsareformulaic."Howdoyoudo,Mr.X"isaveryformalgreeting,anditisappropriateifoneismeetingasuperior."Nicetomeetyou"isverycommonandacceptableinmostsituations.Itisimportanttorememberthatquestionslike"howdoyoudo"or"howareyou"arepartofthegreetingritualandarenotintendedtoinvestigateyoursituation.Thecorrectanswertobothquestionsis"fine，thankyou,andyou?"