EncouragingWordsforBeginners
Becausethereisawiderangeofpeopleintheswingscene,skillsandexperiencelevelsvarygreatly.However,everybodystartsoutasabeginner.Ifyouareanewtodancing,noticethatmostofthebetterdancershavebeenworkingatitforquitesometime.Trynottogetdiscouraged.Itmaytakeafewmonthsforyoutofeelcompletelycomfortableswingdancing.Eventhen,nobodyeverlearnseverything.Infact,theteachersspendasmuchtimeasanybodyimprovingtheirdancing.Avoiddwellingonwhatyouknowordon’tknow.Moreimportantly,pleaserememberthatlackingpriorexperiencedoesnotprecludeanybodyfromenjoyingthedance.Thisissupposedtofun,aboveallelse.
WhotoDanceWith
Itisbeneficialtodancewithpeopleofallexperiencelevels.Inthecontextofenhancingyourskills,dancingwithmoreexperienceddancersoftenhelpsyoutoimprove.Similarly,dancingwithlessexperienceddancersisaprimeopportunityforyoutoworkonyourlead/followskills.Ideally,youshouldbeabletolead/followwithanyone.Inthecontextofhavingfun,youcanhavefundancingwithanybodyandeverybody.Inshort,askeverybodyyoucantodance,thereisnopointinlimitingyourself.
GeneralTips
- TrytofollowtheGoldenRule:treatothersasyouwishtobetreated.
- Smile.
- Makeeyecontact,howeverdonotstaredownyourpartner.Ifthisisdifficultforyou,onetricksomepeopleuseislookingattheirpartner’sshoulderortheirearlobe.Thisconfirmsthatyouarepayingattention,yetyouarenotstaring.
- Focusonyourpartner.Yourjobistomakethepersonyouaredancingwithlookgood.Forleadsthismeansbeingconscientiousofyourpartner’sskillandadjustingyourleadtothesituation.Forfollowsthismeansavoidingback-leadingorotheractionsthatmaketheleadfeel"unimportant."Forbothleadsandfollows,ifyoustayawareandadaptiveofyourpartner’sfeelings,youwillbeapopulardancer.
- Thankyourpartneraftereachdance.
- ItispolitetoclapforliveperformerswhentheyfinishasongandforDJswhentheyfinishtheirset.Ifyouarenotdancing,itisalsoconsideredpolitetoclapafteralengthysolo,howeverthisisnotexpectedofactivedancers.
- Itisnotnecessarytoapologizetoyourpartnerifaparticularmoveisnotexecutedperfectly.Thepointisnottohaveaperfectdance,buttohavefun.However,ifyourmistakemayhavephysicallyhurtyourpartner,pleaseapologizeandmakesuretheyareokay.
- Swingdancingisasocialdance,thereforetalkingwhiledancingisokayandnotconsideredbadetiquette.Moreover,nottalkingwhiledancingisnotconsideredbadetiquetteeither.Dowhatmakesyoufeelcomfortable.
- Don’tbestinky!Youwillbedancinginclosequarterswithalotofnewpeople.Youmaywanttochewgumorbringbreathmints(Altoidsarepopular...andbringenoughtoshare!).Somedancersavoideatingcertainfoods(garlicoronions,forexample)ondancedays.Youmayalsowishtoweardeodorantorcologne.
- Dancingisgoodexercisesobepreparedtosweat!Manypeoplebringextrashirtstochangeoverthecourseofanevening.Othertipsincludebringingatowelorhandkerchieftothedancesorusingbabypowder.
RegardingCliquesand"Snobbery"
- Sometimesaperceptionexiststhatgooddancersonlyhangoutwithothergooddancers.Thisisaby-productofthefactthatmanydancershavebeendancingtogetherforalongtimeandknoweachotherbetter.Forthemostpart,fewpeoplewithinthesceneareintentionallyreinforcingthisperception.Feelfreetobreaktheiceiftheydon’t.
AskingForaDance
- Noticewhatthepersonisdoingbeforeyouaskthemtodance.Bewaryofinterruptingconversations.
- Askpolitely,"Wouldyouliketodance?"Avoidgrabbingapartnerandpullingthemontothedancefloor.
- Onedanceatatimeisthenormwithinourdancecommunity(incontrast,thereareotherdancecommunitieswheretwoconsecutivesongsperpartneristhenorm).Shouldyouwantaconsecutivedancewithyourpartner,askthemfirst.Consideraskingthemiftheywanttodanceatalatertime.
- Itisveryacceptableforladiestoaskgentlementodance.Mostgentlemenareflatteredbytheoffer.
- Whenthereisagroupofleadsorfollows,askingonespecificpersontodanceislessawkwardthanaskingtheentiregroup(i.e."wouldoneofyouliketodance").
HowToSay"No"
Ideally,wewouldallsay"yes"toeveryonethatasked.Incaseswhereyouwishtodeclineadance,bepolite:smileandsay"No,thankyou."Ifthereisareasonwhyyoucan’tdancethatsong,givethemareason.Whileopinionsdiffer,theauthorsofthisdocumentgenerallybelievethatitisnotagoodideatojustmakeupareasonnottodance.Inotherwords,trytodealwithpeoplehonestlyanddirectly.Ifyouwouldliketodancewiththepersonsomeothertime,offertodancewiththemlaterandmakeapointtofollowup.Ifyouhavenodesiretodancewiththisperson,simplysay"Nothankyou,"withapleasant,sinceresmile.Also,pleasekeepinmindthatsomepeopleconsideritrudetorefusetodancewithonepersonandthendancewithanotherpersonduringthesamesong.Alongthisline,theremaybevalidreasonswhysomebodywilldancewithsomebodyelseafterturningsomebodydown(i.e.thesongtempochanged,theotherpersonwastooforceful,etc...).Ifthishappenstoyou,realizethatitmaynotnecessarilybeapersonalrejection.
WhattoDoIfTheySay"No"
Youcanalwaysaskagain,butgivehimorhertimeandspaceandaskagainlater.Itisusuallyagoodideatoletseveralsongspass.Also,donotgetdiscouragedifyouareturneddown.Alldancersgetturneddownfromtimetotime.Thereareotherpeoplewhowouldverymuchliketodancewithyou.
SpecialAdviceforLeads
- Whenstartingadance,especiallywithsomeoneyoudon’tknow,takeitslow.Everyonedancesdifferently,sotakeyourtimeandgettoknowtheotherpersonbystartingoffwithlesscomplexmoves.
- Doyourbesttoavoidleadingmovesthatmighthurtyourpartner.Donotpushorpullyourpartnertoohard.Ifsheisnotfollowingsomething,tryleadingothermoves.Makesureyoupayattentiontowhereyourpartnerisandwheresheisgoing.Thesocialdancefloorisliketheoceanandcanbechoppyandroughbynofaultofyourown-makesuresheissafeonthesea.
- Bluesdancingandotherclosedanceshaverecentlybecomepopular.TheSyndicatedoesnotwishtodiscourageclosedancing,however,asalead,beawareofwhetherornotyourpartnerwantstodanceclose.Ifshepullsawayorappearsuncomfortable,givehermorespace.Justbecausethebluesdancingworkshopsteachasnugcloseddancepositiondoesnotmeanthateveryfollowwantstodancethatway.Additionally,noteveryladyhastakenabluesworkshop.Asaruleofthumb,whendancingbluesstylewithanewpartner,askhershemindsdancingclose.
- Dipsareacceptable,butonlywhenyouareconfidentthatyoucanexecutethemwithoutcausingyourpartnerdiscomfort,fear,orpain.Contrarytowhatyouseeonthedancefloor,itisnotarequirementthatyoucloseouteverysongwithadip.Onlyleadadipifyoufeelthatyoucanexecuteitsuccessfully.Thisistrueforeventhemostbasicdips.Ifyouaregoingtoleadmorecomplexdips,pleaseaskherfirst.Thisisespeciallytrueifissomebodythatyoudonotdancewithregularly.Somefollowsdonotlikedipsofanysort,eitherforpersonalpreferencereasonsorforhealthreasons(backissues,etc...).Ifafollowresistsatthestartofadip,takethatasasignthatshedoesnotliketobedipped.
- Aerialsanddrops(TrickMoves)aregenerallynotacceptableonthesocialdancefloor.Infact,manyvenuesbanthemoutright.TheyarerarelydoneatAustinSwingSyndicatedances,withtheonlyexceptionsbeingcontrolledcircumstancessuchasajamcirclesorperformancesoramongpartnerswhohaveworkedonaerialsordropsprior.Rememberthatinjuriescanhappenwitheventhemostbasicaerial/dropmoves.Forthosewhomayunfamiliarwiththeterms,aerialsaremoveswherethepartner’sfeetleavethefloor;dropsaremovesthatcauseyourpartner’sheadtobebelowyourwaist.Ifyouareinthepositiontoleadanaerialordrop,westronglyencourageyoutoaskforyourpartner’spermissionfirst.
- Ifyoubumpanothercouple,trytoimmediatelylookbackandapologize.Ifanothercouplebumpsyou,apologizeevenifitistheirfault.Theexperienceddancerknowsthattoeswillbesteppedonandpeoplewillbumpintooneanother.Don’tlettheoccasionalaccidentgetyoudown.Ifyouhappentobedancingnearanerraticlead,relocatetoanotherpartofthefloor.
- Thereisasplitopinionregardingthepracticeofwalkingyourpartneroffthefloor.Somepeoplebelievethatitisaveryrespectfulthingtodo.Othersfeelthatisunnecessaryandtooformal.Agoodcompromiseistounderstandthatthebestcourseofactionwillvaryfromsituationtosituation.
TeachingOnTheDanceFloor:
Thefollowingsectionisthemostcontroversialportionofthisdocument.Somepeopleavoidthepracticeof"teachingonthedancefloor"atallcosts;othersreligiouslyseekoutthechancetosharetheirknowledgewithnewdancers.Wewouldliketopresentabalancedviewonthesubject.
AskingforInstruction
Becarefulaboutaskingothersforquicklessonsonthedancefloor.Manypeoplearereluctanttocriticizepeoplethattheyaredancingwith,sinceitcouldbetakennegatively.Additionally,thereareteacherswhodonotliketobeaskedtoteachwhiletheyaresocialdancing.Thisisnottrueforallteachers,butitistrueforacertainpercentageofthem.
VolunteeringInstruction
Anoftenfollowedruleistoonlygiveadviceiftheotherpersonexplicitlyasksforit.Sometimesunsolicitedadviceputsyourpartneronthedefensive.However,ifaleadishurtingyou,pleasespeakup.Incontrast,iftheleadisonlyleadingstepsineffectively,withoutanyrealharmtoyou,bemorecautiouswithyourcommentary.Remember,thatleadshavealottoconcentrateonwhendancing.
GivingFeedbackandConstructiveAdvice
Beforecommentingonyourpartner’sdancing;itisagoodideatothinkaboutwhatyoucandotoimproveyourdancing.Obviouslyifsomeoneisdoingsomethingdangeroustothemselvesortoothersyoushouldsaysomething,butotherwiseitmaybemoreharmonioustowithholdcomment.Justbecauseyoucancriticize,doesnotmeanthatyoushould.Ifyoufeelcompelledtosaysomething,attempttophraseyourcommentspolitelysoasnottomaketheotherpersonuncomfortable.Itisnicetoofferacomplimentpriortoofferingconstructivecriticism.Itisusuallyagoodideatoassumethathalftheproblemisonyourend(yourleadskills/yourfollowskills)andrememberthatifyouareofferingadvice,bepreparetoreceiveit.Oneeffectivephraseusedbydancersis,"Idon’tthinkthemoveworkedoutright,whatdoyouthinkwecandotomakeitworkbetter."Usestatementsthatallowforhonestfeedbackonbothsides.Don’tlettheotherpersonthinkitisentirelytheirfault.
HandlingUnsolicitedAdviceontheSocialDanceFloor
Ifyourpartneroffersyouadvice,youcanhandlethesituationinavarietyofwaysdependingonthesituation.First,youcanacceptthefeedbackandbeopentoinstruction.Bydoingsoyouexpressthatyouwanttoheartheiradviceandwishtohaveadialogueaboutwhatisandisnotworkinginregardtothedance.Ifyoudonotdesireadviceorfeedbackatthetime,youcanpolitelysay"thanks,butIdon’tfeellikediscussingtechniquerightnow,Ijustwanttodance."Ifyoudon’twanttheadvice,youcansayverylittleandletitgo.Whateveryoudo,avoidblamingeachother,whichmayleadtoanuncomfortableandantagonisticsituation.Remember,inthesocialdanceworld,havingfunismoreimportantthanbeingright.
DealingWithDifficultPeople
IfsomebodyataSyndicateeventmakesyoufeeluncomfortable,pleasespeakwithaBoardmember.Ifyoudon’tknowaBoardmember,telltheDJandheorshewillgetyouintouchwithaBoardmember.Wewillbegladtodealwiththeminarespectful,non-confrontationalmanner.
ClosingThought
Itiswisetobelightheartedenoughtojustenjoythedanceregardlessofwhetherornoteveryoneisattheirbestetiquette
